


Exploring

by InkedMyths



Series: Fangs and Courage [3]
Category: LinkedUniverse - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Centuries old idiots, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Mentions of blood for obvious reasons, Thrift Shopping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:48:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27130678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkedMyths/pseuds/InkedMyths
Summary: The boys settle in and get to know the area and a few of the locals.
Series: Fangs and Courage [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1510511
Comments: 10
Kudos: 36





	Exploring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back bitches

It was the day after Twilight had gone on his excursions, and no one was surprised when Legend made his way to the door in the morning. "I want to go out."

Time raised an eyebrow. "Already?" His expression remained neutral, but a smirk was evident in his voice.

"Yes, already, I'm tired of being inside. Is that alright with you, old man?"

Time tapped his finger on the table he was sitting at, thinking. "You should be fine to go out. Just be careful."

Legend rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. I'll be the model of an ordinary mortal." He turned his back to the elder, who chuckled. He reached for the door, only to be interrupted by another voice.

"Hey, Legend, wait up!" Legend groaned, turning around to face Warrior. "I'm coming with you."

"No, you're not."

"Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud. You're not the only one who's been itching to get out of the house."

Legend made a face. "Fine. If you want to come, I can't stop you, but you had better not be a pain in the neck about it."

Warrior grinned. "Who, me? I'm the picture of innocence."

Legend shoved his way out the door, shoving it behind him so it slammed into Warrior as he walked out. The action was met with a yelp, and Warrior glared at him as he pushed the door shut. Glancing back, Legend smirked. "You coming?"

"A pox upon you, bastard."

Legend waved a hand, shooting back a few insults of his own, which was met with an annoyed scoff. "Problem?"

"I can't reply properly to attacks in a language I don't know."

"Well, it's your fault then for being born in the 15th century, now isn't it?"

Warrior gasped, dramatically putting a hand to his head. "What's this? Ageism? You rotten old tartface!"

"Respect your elders."

"As if you deserve respect."

They went back and forth like this for a few minutes as they continued the walk to the city. After they grew tired of it, they walked in silence for a stretch, taking the scenery of their new home. The day was much like the first, overcast, albeit more humid than the day prior. 

Warrior glances at the clouds above. "Do you think it's going to be like this all the time?"

Legend glanced up. "Depends on what you mean. The area is known for being grey and rainy for a large chunk of the year, though it shouldn't be so humid as the weather cools down."

"Done your research as usual, huh?"

"Of course. Can't wait for this humidity to let up, though."

"It's not that bad."

"War, you grew up in the goddamn Mediterranean. Of course you don't think it's that bad."

Warrior shrugged. "At least we're not in Florida."

"Don't mention that place ever again."

Warrior snorted. "What, got a problem with the place?"

"What's the saying they have now? What happens in Miami stays in Miami? That."

"I believe the city in question is Vegas, not Miami, and that's in California."

"My point still stands."

They'd wandered put of the woods by now, and were beginning to enter the more populated areas. Their location was a bit odd, in of that it was one of those places where the edge of the woods suddenly gave way to the city, instead of a more gradual progression. Perhaps this was partially because it was not really that big of a city. Still, they paused their conversation momentarily to look around the new sights.

"Not a bad place, huh? What do you think?" Legend asked.

"Well, you know me. I like cities. This isn't bad, though, you're right. Civilized, things to do and see."

"Alright, city boy, are we…" he glanced around. "Getting lunch, or what?"

Warrior rolled his eyes. "One track mind, as always. Chill out for a bit, we'll get there! Why don't we just wander around, soak in the sights?"

"I'd rather suck in the sights, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, you old swine, always thinking about food," he said, with a dramatic shake of his head. "Why can't you just indulge in the modern niceties before you start biting, huh?"

"The whole point of this outing is biting, bitch."

"Okay, so you can't pick up on the details of modern civility, but you can pick up on their insults? Seems a little unbalanced, don't you think?"

"You're unbalanced," the other replied, kicking him in the back of the legs so he stumbled.

This resulted in a bit of an escalation of their banter. Unsurprisingly, it drew a few eyes, as it was a bit odd to see two people practically wrestling each other while continuing to walk forward along their way. Most would be surprised that they had the coordination to do so. The simple fact was they'd been like this for well over four centuries, and had long since perfected the act of perfect leg coordination that didn't require one's eyes to be on the path in front of them. Also, this was completely normal for them, so they had a lot of practice.

Suddenly, they came to a stop. "Hey, Legend," Warrior said, nudging him with his elbow. "Look. Thrift shop."

Legend looked over, and sure enough, there was a thrift shop entrance on the corner. Decently sized, too. He raised an eyebrow at the other man. "Really?" He asked, deadpan.

"Yes, really. C'mon." With that, Warrior walked over and pushed the door open, disappearing into the entrance. Legend sighed, but followed him anyway.

They entered what was a fairly normal cheap store. Old used books lined shelves in one corner, followed by rows of hand-me-down toys from the last twenty years. Various knick-knacks piled on other shelves. However, the majority of the store, and the only part they really cared about, were the racks of clothing. This particular store hadn't done much in the way of organizing them, so it was the sort of place where you just perused the hangers until you found something of interest.

Warrior immediately began rifling through them. "Alright, let's see what lost treasures we can find today."

"Whatever. It's all junk anyway." Legend pulled out the sleeve of a sweater and wrinkled his nose. "Did they even wash this?"

"Who knows. Mind you, most noses aren't as sensitive as ours, so maybe they did but weren't as thorough."

"Lovely." Legend sighed, and then went about flicking through the racks. Maybe he could find something decent in all of this. Unlikely, he thought, but he was here and he was bored. Damn Warrior dragging him into these places.

Now, the purpose of a thrift store is not to get trendy styles. It's cheap clothes. For many, it's just where they get their clothes from, since everywhere else gets increasingly overpriced every year. However, for those with money to burn (such as centuries old beings who've had enough years to either hoard it or learn fraud), they serve another purpose: finding the worst articles of clothing you just can't seem to find anywhere else. So really it was only a matter of time before chaos began between the two shoppers. And, as it so often does, it started with Warrior.

"I have found it. I have found the thing I've been missing all my life."

Legend closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath. This would go nowhere good, he knew it. He slowly turned, opening them, to see what god awful thing Warrior had found now.

It was a scarf. He already had it wrapped around his neck and was posing proudly with it. The cloth was the most vibrant, eye bleeding shade of ultramarine Legend had ever set eyes on. Added on top of that, it was trimmed in some horrific sparkly gold thread, though it was more comparable to sparkly macaroni. Squinting, he realized that there was Latin lettering in the designs as well.

"What. The fuck. Is that."

"My new favorite piece of clothing!"

"I don't even think that Latin makes sense."

"It doesn't," Warrior replied, sounding absolutely delighted by this.

"Put it back, it's hurting my eyes."

"You hurt my eyes but I still keep you around. The scarf stays."

Legend glared at him. He knew he was only doing this to get under his skin. Well, fine then. Two can play at that game. He turned back to the racks of clothing, scanning for his next move in retaliation. He ended up snatching some terrible Christmas sweater, ignoring the fact that it wasn't the season for it yet.

"Oh, that is quite terrible," Warrior said with a scrunched nose. "The gold is unnecessary."

"You are in no position to say that with that monstrosity around your neck."

This, as everything so often did with these two, of course escalated. Each kept grabbing a new, horrible item, adding it to their ensemble. Items were traded out and thrown to the side as they were placed by something new and arguably worse. They had no doubt attracted the attention of several other shoppers, but they were far to engrossed in their competition to notice, and even if they did they probably wouldn't care. They'd spent the better part of their existence not caring what mortals thought.

It had probably been a couple hours by the time they showed up to the cash register.

* * *

It was mid afternoon when Hyrule heard the front door being unlocked. He looked up from his book, setting it down on the table. "Ah," he said to himself. "They're back."

Of course Hyrule knew to brace himself for whenever Legend and Warrior came back. The two tended to start things with one another, so one could never really say what they'd get up to when they went out together.

Still, he found he had not braced himself nearly enough.

Hyrule was no expert on modern fashion, or any fashion really, but he had some sense of what sort of worked together and what didn't. In other words, he knew enough to be mildly horrified by what Legend and Warrior were wearing.

Legend had on a sweater for… what was that holiday called again? Christian day? Well, whatever the case, it was maroon and green with gaudy gold accents. He'd paired it with very, very short cut shorts that were a bright, vibrant pink. On his head was a blue cloth hat that looked as though it had been through several owners, as well as sunglasses that had bunny ears for some reason. To top it all off, he was wearing the sort of boots Twilight had recently taken to, except these ones came up over his knees to about mid-thigh. 

Warrior was just as bad. He had a scarf wrapped around his neck in a shade of blue that would have made royals weep. The tank top he had on was an equally vibrant green, and had an image of that one blonde fairy from that cartoon. Peter Pan, he thought? It was partially covered by an iridescent jacket of an indeterminate, shiny material. His legs were completely covered unlike his companion, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing as they were covered by psychedelic orange and blue leopard print. He had on those tennis shoes with the white toes, though these came up to his calves and were sparkly gold. He also had on a pair of sunglasses, though his looked like two triangles melded together.

"Uh… hi?" He tried, as they walked in the door. "How was your, uh… outing?"

"Fine," Legend said.

"Excellent!" Warrior replied, flipping his new scarf over his shoulder. "This is my new favorite piece of clothing."

"I… see." He winced as he thought of their ever growing hoard of belongings. Time wouldn't appreciate this. "So, uh, any success hunting?"

Legend stopped mid-stride. He stood frozen, all except a no longer concealed ear, which twitched once, then twice. Dropping his bags, he swung around and kicked Warrior in the shin. "Curse the skies! Damn you! You distracted me from the whole goddamn reason we went out!"

"Ow! Hey, look, it was a perfectly viable reason to be distracted–"

"Shopping doesn't take priority over food!"

It was at that moment Four decided to walk in. He looked at the bags, looked at the two fighting in the front entrance, stood for a moment, then turned around. "Not today."

Hyrule sighed, placing his head on the table. "Thanks, Four, could have used your moral support here." He sighed. "Guess I'll just… sit and wait for them to finish… whatever. So much for a peaceful midday book reading."

**Author's Note:**

> I drew their terrible outfits btw  
> https://catboyroberteospeedwagon.tumblr.com/post/632718481667899392/so-anyway-have-a-drawing-based-on-my-most-recent


End file.
